WE DO NOT SEE THINGS AS THEY ARE; WE SEE THINGS AS WE ARE
– TALMUD
Psychotherapy is the process that changes the view of the self. At its best this new self is a more beneficent self-concept.
The goal is to bring one’s view closer to that of reality. The function of therapy is to address the fundamental error; the belief that anger brings us something we really want, and by justifying attack, self protection is afforded. Relief arrives to the extent one realizes the error of this belief. People contact a therapist for any reason but this….. most people contact a therapist for one of the following:
- work conflict
- relationship conflict
- physical symptoms
- emotional pain – suffering, fear, anger
- behavior problems
People almost never initiate therapy to change their self view, but rather to preserve it against the friction the world’s reaction has levied. People want to rid themselves of the suffering or pain, without changing their view. This is the battleground therapy is fought upon. We seek magic or illusions to make this possible. Why?
Because it is easier, and we have grown attached to the view we are fighting to preserve. Since our illusions (defenses) cost us so much pain we seek an improved view that retains our “self” as it is absent the pain. Our reality, past events or present circumstances, is too much for us to accept. So we seek a solution; magic; illusions so that we might dispense with the reality we dislike in favor of what we want. This is not conscious, but exists at a basic level.
Therapy is directed at the dissolution of illusions and the acceptance of what is ~ truth or reality.
Our pain can take many forms. Some is biologically based, while for others it is psychological. Emotional (depression), physical (headaches, stomach) or mental (confusion, illusions) symptoms arise from the insistence upon viewing the world as you would have it be, instead of what is…. illness is an expression of sorrow or guilt. When we view ourselves as weak, vulnerable, endangered or evil it is logical to be on guard ~ constantly defensive. So our defenses are constructed; rooted in the distant distorted past attempting to remake our self-concept into something separate from who we are. As we believe our illusion, the reality of what exists (truth) is necessarily perceived as a threatening evil. Distorting our self view through false perceptions is the cause of our “illness” and suffering.
Psychotherapy’s Purpose
- The aim is the removal of the obstacles to seeing the truth
- Facing fear, considering its causes and learning to accurately perceive it
- Replace self attack (e.g. guilt, shame) and suffering with forgiveness
- Correction of one’s view of the self – replacing attacking or defensiveness with acceptance of what is true about you
- To calm the fear, allowing opportunity to view the self and world accurately, free of judgment; accepting what is
The therapist helps this be done by facing attack, fear, anger or hurt without defense, thus demonstrating that there is no need for a defense…. Defenselessness is strength – Inner Healer
He who has no need of control, has the most control